This week in my japanese classes we have been learning new structures and things, and have been doing an excercise to say what we possibly will be doing in 1 years time, 5 years time, 10, 25, 30 etc. It was quite a humbling experience, as I've never really thought about it like that before, never even thought anything ast getting my degree. It was also a bit scary because you never know what unexpected things will happen to either yourself or other people which would influence you.
So, I thought I would blog a small bit about the kind of things I want to do.
Starting off in short term, by the time I graduate I want to be near-fluent in my languages. I realise that it's going to be a lot of work, but I know that if I honestly put my mind to it then I can do it. After uni though I have 2 trains of thought really. The first is to get a career. Pretty self-explanatory. The second is to either do a post-grad degree or maybe go take a 'gap year' and travel for a bit.
By the time I'm 30 there are yet again 2 options I would like to do.
1) I definately want to have an at least half-decent (in both enjoyment and pay) job. But doing what, I don't know. Hopefully I will have also found someone to begin to settle down with by then, and maybe start thinking about kids. I really would like to be a dad, I think I'd do a pretty good job! And I like having someone to fuss over.
2) I would like to live abroad. I was thinking possibly Japan, or Quebec maybe, or even just in Europe. I don't know exactly when, but I do really want to live abroad for some period of my life.
A pretty big fear for me is that I will be lonely in my life. I don't mean from friends and family, but a partner. I want to think that I would have someone there to share my experiences with, I don't even mind if there is more than 1 person!
So I guess all in all, I'm not 100% on what I want to achieve. I'm not sure if anyone is really. Who knows, I might get interested in a certain profession, or get hooked on supporting a cause.
The future is scary. But the possibilities are endless, and that's what makes it fascinating.
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Showing posts with label life. Show all posts
Friday, 9 November 2007
Sunday, 4 November 2007
Existential Dream
A while ago, on the 23rd of September, I wrote an entry in a my journal about a dream I had ahd the night before. I thought it would make interesting reading material; so here it is!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Basically, it was centered around this woman who had got killed. How she died was a mystery, it was like either a freak accident or someone killed her, no one knows. I was basically 'called' by what i can only think of as an 'angel' (no wings or anything). We were stood on some wide stone steps, the room/background is black and dark (sort of astral), the stairs went up indefinately.
The angel said that I would be told what had happened to the woman, as someone needed to know (i think to like, clear her soul). However, after I would be told, my life energy would have to be taken out of my body, and I would have to die. Of course at this i was scared, but the angle said that the body is liek a shell, almost like a bluprint, and they would 'bury' it somewhere, and that later on I would be reborn into the same body (i.e. i would grow up to have the same body, same attitudes etc).
I asked if there was any way to change the 'body' in some way, to be a little different. The angel answered that you can't change it, but, my 'body/life' was not finished yet. My attention was drawn to the stairs i was on, and there were like cracks and imperfections in it, and I was told that my path was not fully finished yet, and that I basically had great thing(s) to do in the future (when the builder angels got off their butts and finished my stairs! lol).
So I asked what would be changed (i think) and sort of what was in store for me. Suddenly there were people all around on the stairs, and we all sat down and faced a screen, a bit like the layout in the cinema! some reel came on and there were the letters "O H O". (this was supposed to be showing me my final 'true' name i think). Then between the OHO scrolled down "ohayo" (which is japanese for good morning :S). This then morphed into something different, and something again (i dont remember). But eventually it ended up as something that was like "Taryaru" or "Tabyaru", or something similar sounding.
Then I woke up, and I was kinda like whats going on" cos the dream was like proper real and made me think.
After a while, as i lay there, i thought about life, and everything i dont like about myself. Then I thought that, you know, its alright. I dont have to be perfect. My 'path' is incomplete yet, so instead of moaning about it, i would make do with what I have been given, knowing that eventually, i will be happy/complete/whatever. Maybe i could help finish my stairway, help chip away until it is nice and even and smooth. And i was just...content. It was a really cool feeling. Just being comfortable, and trusting that everything would work out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This dream left me in a really peaceful state when I woke up. It was almost like I was at peace with myself.
Dream, or vision?
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Basically, it was centered around this woman who had got killed. How she died was a mystery, it was like either a freak accident or someone killed her, no one knows. I was basically 'called' by what i can only think of as an 'angel' (no wings or anything). We were stood on some wide stone steps, the room/background is black and dark (sort of astral), the stairs went up indefinately.
The angel said that I would be told what had happened to the woman, as someone needed to know (i think to like, clear her soul). However, after I would be told, my life energy would have to be taken out of my body, and I would have to die. Of course at this i was scared, but the angle said that the body is liek a shell, almost like a bluprint, and they would 'bury' it somewhere, and that later on I would be reborn into the same body (i.e. i would grow up to have the same body, same attitudes etc).
I asked if there was any way to change the 'body' in some way, to be a little different. The angel answered that you can't change it, but, my 'body/life' was not finished yet. My attention was drawn to the stairs i was on, and there were like cracks and imperfections in it, and I was told that my path was not fully finished yet, and that I basically had great thing(s) to do in the future (when the builder angels got off their butts and finished my stairs! lol).
So I asked what would be changed (i think) and sort of what was in store for me. Suddenly there were people all around on the stairs, and we all sat down and faced a screen, a bit like the layout in the cinema! some reel came on and there were the letters "O H O". (this was supposed to be showing me my final 'true' name i think). Then between the OHO scrolled down "ohayo" (which is japanese for good morning :S). This then morphed into something different, and something again (i dont remember). But eventually it ended up as something that was like "Taryaru" or "Tabyaru", or something similar sounding.
Then I woke up, and I was kinda like whats going on" cos the dream was like proper real and made me think.
After a while, as i lay there, i thought about life, and everything i dont like about myself. Then I thought that, you know, its alright. I dont have to be perfect. My 'path' is incomplete yet, so instead of moaning about it, i would make do with what I have been given, knowing that eventually, i will be happy/complete/whatever. Maybe i could help finish my stairway, help chip away until it is nice and even and smooth. And i was just...content. It was a really cool feeling. Just being comfortable, and trusting that everything would work out.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
This dream left me in a really peaceful state when I woke up. It was almost like I was at peace with myself.
Dream, or vision?
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